Patience where art thou?

I used to think I was patient. My inner voice is shouting at me. You! Patient! Is that a joke? Have you asked your husband? Have you asked your children? Especially, your teenage daughter, if you are patient. Have you asked your 10-year-old son?  Wait! Don’t go there. My son, my boy! The apple of my eyes (……. cough, cough). I know what his answer will be. Are you sure about that Toju?

Do you know the answer you’ll get if you asked those in your inner circle if you are patient?

Now let me ask this question again, “Are you patient Toju?”

My truth filled reply would be, “I’m a work in progress”. What! With all your personal development and intellectual journey, that is the best answer you’ve got. Okay, okay, okay…….let me make the question a tad bit simpler, “Is patience an essential trait to have?” If it is, why is it difficult to harness?

Patience can be difficult to harness because it requires being patient with oneself. Sounds…….right. Our mindset developed overtime, so give yourself time to make any long- lasting change. Are you only patient when things are good and do you flare up like a boiling teapot when things don’t go as planned? Patience requires a change of attitude and this takes time to cultivate people!

Patience can seem impossible, because we can’t see the complete puzzle. We notice only what reflects at us now. We do not realise that with patience we can grow into the best version of ourselves. Can you remember your insecure, rash and unsure twenty something year old self? What advice would your now forty something years old self give? What life experiences has come forth? Like fine wine are you now filled with beautiful flavours and body?

Patience is necessary because life’s beauty doesn’t occur overnight. Can we relate to this in our instant gratification world that we exist in? I know how I feel when I press the power button on my computer and it takes a few seconds for it to come on.  I am tapping my fingers on the table as this bl…..computer is taking too long to come on. Are you guilty of this?

We want what we want, and we want it now! I remember when ordering an item online and next day delivery was mind blowing fast. Now you order an item before 12 noon and you can get it before 6pm the same day. Is there any wonder why being patient is becoming a forgotten art?

Patience is revealed through life’s mysteries. Nature is a wonderful source for this. When we plant a seed no matter the extra amount of water, sunlight, fertilizer that we put into it, can the seed blossom into a flower the next day? When we sow a seed without patience, can we reap the fruit it would bring forth?

Great things take time! For example, wanting to start a business. You can snap your hands and wish it to succeed all you want, but without putting time, sweat and efforts that success would be illusive. It needs time and nurturing to turn it to something great. 

Do you know that Patience is an important tool in overcoming frustration? Yep! Patience allows us to suspend judgment long enough to make informed decisions, thus paving the path to a peaceful life.

Sometimes, if we pause and allow the universe to do its work, problems have a way of resolving themselves. Think of that argument you had with your husband or wife, your daughter or your friend the night before, and all it takes is having a good night rest and when tempers calm down, you’re both able to look at the situation with a set of fresh lenses and you may reconcile.

Things get clearer with time. It is not always clear why things happen, but if you avoid getting upset about that issue, and allow time to pass, hindsight will give you a clear vision of why something happened when it did.

Why are we always in a hurry? Patience can be difficult to develop as we live in an era filled with a plethora of choices. We want the next best thing, and we want it now. We do not embrace life as it unfolds, because we are waiting for something else.

Let us learn to notice life as it plays before us. Be an active participant. Learn to appreciate what is before you, don’t toss it to the side for being insignificant. When we slow our pace, this leads to us developing an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude is the neighbour of happiness. 

REMEMBER, Life doesn’t run on a set schedules! Be Patient!

Written by Toju Cole