Considering Marriage Counselling? See This!

Marriage counselling is a practice that is becoming prevalent these days. It involves partners who are willing to do anything to make their devotedness to one another last. It involves both partners showing up and being committed to the process. Sometimes it is a process that takes more than just a day, weeks or even months.

In marriage counselling, the psychologist or counselor, is mostly interested in saving the relationship. They try to help you identify ways in which you could fix your relationship, but at the end of the day, the decision to save your relationship lies on your hands, both of you.

Infact, some marriages end after marriage counselling because both partners decided that they don’t want to fight for the relationship. They feel the differences are too great and so would be happier apart. This is why some folks believe marriage counselling is “not ok or enough”. The truth is that it’s all about your marriage. It isn’t about the counsellor and a right thinking person knows this.

Here are a few things to consider before enrolling for a marriage counselling section.

Commitment

If you are considering entering marriage counselling, you need to first think about the commitment required. For anything to work there has to be first and foremost the decision to commit. You have to commit to time, finance, changes in lifestyle and other demands that this section brings with it.

Openness

The marriage psychologist or counsellor is not a spirit, so don’t expect she will know all from the blues and give accurate support, if you two won’t open up about where things went wrong, or what habits brought you both to the current page.

If you and your partner are not committed to being open, honest, and willing to try new things…therapy will be unsuccessful and pointless. Some couples are quick to say what their partners did to them but are never willing to open up on the part they played in getting them to the page they are currently in. For your sections to work, you have to first count these costs and be ready to go through the whole process with dedication, truth and honesty.

Pick the Right Therapist

The goal with marriage counselling is to help couples make thoughtful decisions about strengthening their relationship or even ending it; that is in cultures where that is allowed. It is very important and helpful to have a person who can listen to the problems facing partners, and provide an UNBIASED feedback! Your therapist will be like a moderator in a business meeting, someone who is not partial to both side and hoping to help you resolve the matters at hand.

Because these sessions may be intense, difficult, and emotional, the work accompanying therapy will require effort. But I can assure you that if you find a competent counsellor, you will find yourself where you need to be.

Due Time for Counselling

There are no definitive answers to the question, “When is it time to enter marriage counselling?” The answer lies with you and your partner. If there are problems in your relationship that you would like to resolve, then go get help. Couples therapy is often short-term and a few sessions may leave you with renewed energy and conflicts resolved. If you find that you and your partner cannot work through a particular problem, seek help before you find yourself in a bad place. If you are already in a bad place within your marriage, seek help before it ends on its own. This will help keep you save your marriage while you can still do. 

Source: guardian.ng